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Revealed: The Gunners New Striker?

17/2/2013

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Yesterday I watched Arsenal huff and puff and eventually lose in the FA Cup to a woeful Blackburn Rovers. As tomorrow is my birthday, I've decided to give the Gunners a gift of the deadly striker they so desperately need. Moi. 
So how about it Mr. Wenger? I wouldn't cost anything close to what you paid for Chamakh, Bendtner or Gervinho and there's a good chance I'd score a few of the sitters they've missed over the years. And if I show up late for training it would only be because I was still counting my last week's wages. Actually you could even pay me once a month, like a real world employee. What's that? You don't offer contracts to over forties? Who's been spreading rumours now? I'm not a day older than Gervinho and I don't have two left feet.

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